For those of you who don't know, my Gramps was living with us. He needed a place and we had a spot in the basement to spare. He lived here for 6 months where I tried to make his life a little better but to no avail. Through this I have unfortunately witnessed what we can become if we let the negative things in life rule us and our future. I love my Gramps a whole lot but I just couldn't make him happy. I have not lived the life that he has and I do not claim to understand what his life was like, but I have lived my own that has come with many challenges, as we all have, and we always have choices. I admit it's a hard choice when it comes down to living in misery or rising above it, especially when you feel there is no hope...that's the hardest. Challenges that come our way are just that, challenging. Tears, sweat, anguish, heartache....it's all there for all of us at some point. For some of us, it's there more often through no fault of our own...but no matter how hard it is to keep treading that water to stay afloat, we must always keep going. Our will to survive and to live a better life, to keep trying, comes from that Light of Christ that we're born with....I believe. I know having that gift has saved me a few times....
I really don't know what's in my Grampa's thoughts and heart. It's not my place to even pretend to know what he does and does not deserve. But I do know that at his best, he is a wonderful man and I will love him forever. I hope that he can find more happiness in life, because if we're not striving for that, then why are we here? And happiness is there to be found, even if we have to retrain our minds to see it. I believe it to be so worth it.
My Gramps left Saturday morning to move back to Fresno. He has family there that will help him find a place. I am sad I could not make a better life for him, I just didn't have what it took. But the great news is, the Lord does and I can leave it in his hands.
To my Gramps!! Love you!!